The judges have spoken

I just performed a very important scientific study and felt that you all should know the results immediately - that's how vitally important it was.

Right now at my parents' house we have what seems like a million different snack foods, including about five different types of chips. I wanted to give my dog a little treat and felt that she could prove a point I had made to my mom and sister, which is that Baked Lays and lime flavored chips are a disgusting abomination before Heaven. So my experiment went as follows:

ME: Mattie, do you want a treat? A treat???
DOG: *tail wags ferociously, half jaw starts watering*
ME: Here, have a lime chip.
DOG: *takes chip in mouth, immediately spits chip on floor. tail continues wagging*
ME: HAHAHAHA she just rejected the lime chip hardcore!
BYSTANDER: Well of course she did, those are disgusting.
ME: Here, Mattie. Have a Baked Lay.
BYSTANDER: How can you be so mean?? Stop torturing her!
DOG: *takes chip in mouth, holds it there delicately, drops it on floor and looks up quizically*
ME: HAHAHAHAHA why won't you eat these?
BYSTANDER: Of course she won't eat them, because they are also really gross. Dad, do you like Baked Lays?
DAD: *shakes head in disapproval*
BYSTANDER: That's what I thought.
ME: Oh fine, here dog. Have a normal chip.
DOG: *bites my fingers in her eagerness to gobble down delicious fatty chip*

I think that this settles it. Thanks to my highly scientific research, we now know that if my dog who eats garbage, dead things she finds in the street, and grass REJECTS these chips, then they must be truly truly horrible. But if you like them, well I'm pretty sure they're still on the kitchen floor so come on over!


*Thanks to Katie, the bystander, and Dad who both unwittingly took part in my impromptu investigation.

SORRY!

Guys, I was beset by demons of self-doubt and self-pity for a while. I felt like I had nothing worthwhile to say (not that I really ever do, haha) and that what I did have to say had already been said by other people, but much cleverer...er. So I'm sorry to have been gone. I've told those demons where they can put their fears and I'm feeling more cocky about my awesomeness and the need to share that with the world. HOORAY! But not today, because today I have presents to wrap. Instead I'll wish you a Merry Christmas, and leave you with this hilarious video that was forwarded to me.

XOXO