Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Password paranoia

After my most recent brush with death (computer death, that is) I discovered something: I had been too trusting of a mysterious benefactor who I assumed was Microsoft. Every time I entered a login/password combination anywhere, Microsoft (or whoever - I don't want to wrongfully accuse anyone) thoughtfully offered to remember it for me. Wasn't that nice? And since I am, above all else, very very lazy, the idea of not having to type things appealed to me.

After my cousin changed my computer setup to get rid of the overwhelming viruses, I confessed my secret shame, and asked if maybe I needed to think up new passwords. He smacked his head at my stupidity (as perhaps you are doing) and told me in his most patient stupid-person voice that it might be wise to get some new ones in place. How was I to know that my laziness represented a serious and naive breach in security? So I quickly, and rather paranoidly, established a whole new set of extremely complicated passwords with random numbers, punctuation, and varied capitalization. I wrote them all down on a note card and hid it behind one of my many hanging pictures where only the cast of CSI could find it. I was feeling all smug about my new impenetrable security until I went to visit my parents. Suddenly, I realized the problem with a password so complicated that no one could memorize it: After about 20 tries, I couldn't check my email for the life of me (not to mention my facebook account or the ol' blog).

Now I have such mixed feelings about the whole affair. On the one hand, to go back to my tried and true all-purpose password would be ridiculous. Before you know it, some bot would be sending virus or porn emails to everyone in my address folder from me, and then what would my bishop think of me? On the other hand, perhaps having a password so complicated that even M.C. Escher would think it was over the top is a bit much. After all, how can I blog all my inner-most thoughts if I can't log in?

Woe is me indeed. What is a girl with a terrible memory to do in this age of hackers and virusi?