AT LAST!

I have two "at lasts" to post about, both very exciting to me.

#1 - I posted last year about a kick-butt music video that my sister made (totally starring me, of course) and then waited with eagerness for the video to be posted online so I could show it off. And I waited... and waited... and AT LAST it's here! Hooray for Anna, filmstress extraordinaire! Prepare to be amazed by my music video debut (oh and I guess some other people were in it too):



#2 - I was sadly disappointed by 2009's supposed blockbuster movies, and you all had to hear about it ad nauseum. But finally finally came a movie that not only lived up to my expectations, but also exceeded them: Sherlock Holmes.Of course, it helps that my only "expectation" for the movie was that Dr. Watson (aka Jude Law) be stunningly good looking

(check plus!)

but still the movie rocked my socks AND the respective socks of my mother, father, brother and sister. It had all the characteristics of the Holmes stories I loved so dearly and read so voraciously (before I read the anti-Mormon A Study in Scarlet which left me a little cold):

• the arrogant, but rightly so, Holmes; always not-so-subtly insulting the intelligences of the people around him (poor Lestrade!)

• Holmes' habit of noticing seemingly inconsequential details and applying them to his vast data bank of obscure knowledge to come to a conclusion unreachable by mere mortals

• Holmes' other habit of not telling anyone what he's noticed or deduced until the very end, leaving us holding our breaths with anticipation

• Holmes' third habit of imbibing too much cocaine (!) - props to them for this, it was very subtly and comically done

• Another Sherlock habit, that of using disguises to follow suspects; particularly Irene Adler who is only one of Holmes' nemeses that appeared in this movie

And then there was more. Gone was the subservient dog-like Watson, who seemed to only exist so that Holmes could have someone to be smug to. He was replaced with an intelligent and saucy Watson, and we were treated to a delightful bantering between the two all through the movie instead of just Watson's constant attempts to solve the mystery, and Holmes' constant condescending correction of Watson. We were also treated to a glimpse into Holmes' analytical mind AND some exciting violence as he planned out each brutal beating that he would give to the bad guys in slow motion, and then carried out that plan in normal speed. I don't remember Holmes getting into too many fights in the books, but this is definitely how he would do it.

I could go on and on about my rapturous feelings towards this awesome film, but you'd be bored. So I'll end by saying, kudos 2009 for finally getting one movie right!

I'm so happy to start the new year with two such fabulous "at lasts."

Self-inflicted torture

There is a movie that I feel compelled to watch every time it's on TV (as it was Sunday night). That movie is The Great Escape, and those of you who have seen it will know why repeated viewings of this movie can be linked to horrible depression. And yet I love it! It's the story of a special inescapable Nazi Prisoner of War camp for various Allied soldiers who were really good at escaping, the attempt of those prisoners to escape this camp en masse, and best/worst of all it is loosely based on real events which start out awesome but end tragically. And I can't help but stop stare at the TV in fascination every time it's on, like one of those really horrible car wrecks that you have to rubberneck just in case there might be dismembered body parts.



Don't get me wrong, it's got some great stuff in the first half. For one thing, you have to love the ingenious plans of these men to escape the inescapable camp. And who doesn't want to root for anyone who's fighting against Nazis?


Then there are the compelling personal stories. You have the cheeky American soldier ("the Cooler king") who defiantly escapes practically every other day even though he's always brought back, there's the "tunnel king" who is secretly claustrophobic, "the forger" who sadly goes blind just before the escape... all brilliantly depicted in a way modern movies and actors just couldn't hold a candle to. These are men one could truly admire, and the Americans are really awesome, so what's not to love?

Kiss America's butt, ya dumb Nazis! YEEEHAW!


And finally (and probably most importantly), there are these faces to gaze in wonder at:



But despite the pretty pretty faces, the excitement of pulling one over on the bad guys, and the engrossing characters the ending of this movie is so tragic and gut-wrenching (for those who haven't seen it I won't ruin it for you because you should totally watch it) that I simply can't understand why my brain forces me to watch it over and over. Is this a sickness? Should I seek help? Because if not, I'm totally putting this movie on my Christmas list so I don't have to wait for it to be on AMC to cry like a baby.

What dreams may come...

So I know where babies come from (the stork), where donuts come from (heaven), and even where Jell-O comes from (cow hooves). But where do dreams come from? I really need to know this, guys, because mine are starting to trip me out.



For instance, what was up with that dream where Christian Bale needed me to shave his beard? REALLY?? I can't imagine what I was watching that inspired that. I had to make home-made shaving cream and use a straight razor too, like from pioneer days. Seems like a mixture of Sweeny Todd and 3:10 to Yuma.

Except I've never seen one of those movies and it's been a while for the other, so... yeah. And that was one of my more tame dreams!



This is why I need to know where dreams come from: I have a letter of complaint to issue. If Christian Bale *must* appear in my dreams, do I have to be his barber? LAME. This dream couldn't have come from my imagination, because I could think of waaaaay better things to do with Christian Bale.




I was talking about riding a tandem bike, jeez you guys are dirty!

Quantum of Solace

Even a quantum of the delectable Daniel Craig is good enough for me. I just watched the newest Bond, and I loved it! I think my favorite professional review is this one, which sums up most of my concerns and also delights. You should read it, because as I learned from my aforementioned writing gig I'm not that great of a reviewist. More of a summarist. Who likes to make up words. Blarglegrist.

Anyway, while Casino Royale was A+++ AWESOME (and my favorite Bond movie), Quantum of Solace just gets a B in my book. CR had a satisfactory mix of action, topless Daniel Craig, little bit of lovin', and some good old emotional crises. QOS is supposed to finish that story off, and it did okaaaay... but it's as though the directors (different guys from the other one) were afraid that too much emotional drama would be girly. So everytime Bond got close to showing his human side they'd throw in an action scene. The problems with these scenes were that they were Bourne style (i.e. nausea inducing choppiness and camera shaking) and no one ever seemed to get hurt. Oh yeah, they'd die, but they didn't feel pain. Even that emotion would be too girly! There was also an extreme deficiency of shirtless Daniel Craig. Tsk tsk.

On the other hand, I was glad for the wrap up of the Vesper Lynd drama. Craig handled what emotional scenes they allowed him brilliantly. I also really liked the villain who was not grossly disfigured, who wasn't a professional fighter, and who (when finally forced into fighting) screamed like a girl. He was normal! I mean, supervillains get stereotyped way too much, man. Let's end these prejudices.

My final opinion about QOS? I will watch it at least once more in the theater if I can, and it's on my shopping list when it finally comes out on video. Hooray for Bond!

My heart is pitter-pattering

I'd like to thank Kristina (of Pulsipher Predilections fame) for giving my ticker a good ol' jolt when it needed to be calming down for sleepy time. Thanks to her mouth-watering post about Christian Bale I'm wide awake at 2am. Fortunately, I don't have work tomorrow or there'd be words to be had! But Christian is one of those gorgeous men for whom I've wasted time, money and brain cells, and so I wanted to write a bit about him.

I started writing a summary of all the movies I've watched just for him, but then I realized how pathetic and single it makes me look. So I'll just point out the most ridiculous of the bunch: hands down, Reign of Fire.

This is a movie about dragons who apparently eat ash (wtf?) and so want to burn the entire world. Then somehow after they've burned and eaten everything they don't die of starvation, they just go to sleep until some unsuspecting construction worker's son (Christian Bale's younger self) wakes them up. Yeah, it makes absolutely no sense but I love it for two reasons:

1) Matthew McConaughey is in it as a bald creepy weirdo (apparently from Kentucky, go figure). At the end he makes this heroic leap toward the main dragon with only an axe and his insane eyes to defend himself... and just gets chomped. He doesn't even dent the monster. It's awesome!!!
2) Christian Bale is so so pretty. I wish I could say that he plays some moving role or something, but really it's that I love his face.

Once upon a time I owned this movie, but someone borrowed it and kept it (she probably also worships at the altar of Bale). Despite its ridiculosity, I have plans to buy it again and I watch it whenever it comes on TV. Now tell me, all you who are supposed Christian Bale fans, can you say the same? I believe I win this round of devotion.

I also feel obligated to note that what got my heart beating a little faster was remembering his role as Demetrius in A Midsummer Night's Dream. His interpretation of a certain scene wherein he makes some theoretical comments to a girl who is chasing him... oh man, there goes my heart again. Let's just say that Christian can back me up against a wall and threaten to steal my virtue any time!

Finally, if you're reading Kristina, I stole one of those pictures you posted and it's currently my desktop decoration. Yummy yummy Christian....

The book speaks

Okay, that was a lame way to say "book selection," but I was trying to be different. Suck it up.

This week's is from a Rex Stout/Nero Wolfe book. I'm not sure exactly which one; Mr. Stout was pretty prolific. I wrote the quote down almost as soon as I read it because it captured the essence of one of my most favorite literary detectives ever: Archie Goodwin. He's smart, sassy, devilishly handsome (just check out that picture on the wikipedia page), and a ladies' man. How could you not love a guy like that? This is what he told his boss when asked why he wanted to leave and fight in WWII:

I wish to take an ocean trip. I want to get a look at a German. I would like to catch one, if it can be done without much risk, and pinch him and make some remarks to him. I have thought up a crushing remark to make to a German and would like to use it.

What a fabulous smart ass. If they were ever to make a *successful* movie or TV show based on the Nero Wolfe stories, I think Matt Keeslar would be the perfect Archie.

That is all.

Gorgeous gorgeous men - bane of my free time

I have a confession. I have spent hours - possibly adding up to days or weeks - of my free time watching really stupid TV shows/movies for the sake of a pretty face. For example, I convinced myself that Attack of the Clones was an excellent movie all because I found out that Hayden Christensen 1) was born the same year as me, and 2) is from Ontario, CA where I coincidentally served my mission a few months after the movie came out. Yes, I was convinced that I would meet, convert, and marry him. Am I crazy? Definitely. But it took me until this year to finally accept that Attack of the Clones sucked. That didn't stop me from liking and buying Jumper though (oh Hayden, when will you realize we're meant to be?).

Anyway, this month's TV show is the BBC's Robin Hood. I have put up with it's ridiculous historical inaccuracies, a really annoying heroine, and the blatant theft of ideas from Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (another movie that I like for the pretty faces, never mind that Kevin Costner doesn't even *pretend* to have a British accent).

All for a glimpse of this man (who was also born the same year as me - move over Hayden!):






It's a sickness.

Girls, girls, girls...

Have you ever noticed the way that girls are always totally over analyzing things? I was talking to a friend the other day about past relationships, and he said that sometimes boys just do things without thinking and then regret them later. I, however, am convinced that maybe that is the way to go. It's so funny to me (even while I'm doing it) that we females seem determined to think everything to death. And they thought women were mindless in the olden days! I don't know a single girl who has never gone over every word of a mixed sex conversation afterward with her friends trying to determine "what it all meant."

Girl: So today I saw Jared and said hello, and then he said hi back.
Friend: Omigosh, no way. What did you say then?
Girl: Oh I totally smiled and he smiled too, and then walked on past.
Friend: Omigosh.
Girl: So what do you think, does he like me?

And then they will proceed to discuss this innocuous incident for at least a week, or until "Jared" unthinkingly smiles at her again.

I mean really, why do we do this? If this were a real life scenario, then it's dollars to donut holes that the poor boy probably didn't even notice she was there! Sometimes I wish I was a boy, life would be much simpler I'm sure. But then I guess I'd spend all kinds of time being confused by girls and how they always seem to misunderstand the things boys do.

Women and men

So today my sister, some friends and I went to see a movie called "Raise Your Voice." Never heard of it? There's a reason. It was not so good. But I don't want to get into that (I'd hate to get in trouble or somethin'). My real reason for this blog is to ponder on a girl thing we mostly all do. Ogle famous male actors. The sole purpose in going to see this movie was to drool over/look at Oliver James, a terrific up-and-coming actor who also sings wonderfully. Okay, we knew the movie would suck. However, the lure of a good looking guy was too strong. Isn't that ridiculous? A dollar spent and an hour wasted on looking at someone we will NEVER MEET. Ever. So many women grouse at length (ad nauseum really) about how men objectify women. Oh, they just look at a girl's body and not her mind or personality or whatever. I suppose there is some truth to that. But guess what? Five girls just went to a movie to do the exact same thing! Who cares what he's really like, he's sexy. It's a shame that we live in this kind of society. But I guess that any kind of society has it's beauty standard which everyone is measured against. So to all those women out there who do this kind of thing (that would be all of you), I say shame on us! We can never grumble and growl about MEN again as long as we continue this type of behavior. But do you know, he really was dang hot!