Saturday, November 15, 2008

My heart is pitter-pattering

I'd like to thank Kristina (of Pulsipher Predilections fame) for giving my ticker a good ol' jolt when it needed to be calming down for sleepy time. Thanks to her mouth-watering post about Christian Bale I'm wide awake at 2am. Fortunately, I don't have work tomorrow or there'd be words to be had! But Christian is one of those gorgeous men for whom I've wasted time, money and brain cells, and so I wanted to write a bit about him.

I started writing a summary of all the movies I've watched just for him, but then I realized how pathetic and single it makes me look. So I'll just point out the most ridiculous of the bunch: hands down, Reign of Fire.

This is a movie about dragons who apparently eat ash (wtf?) and so want to burn the entire world. Then somehow after they've burned and eaten everything they don't die of starvation, they just go to sleep until some unsuspecting construction worker's son (Christian Bale's younger self) wakes them up. Yeah, it makes absolutely no sense but I love it for two reasons:

1) Matthew McConaughey is in it as a bald creepy weirdo (apparently from Kentucky, go figure). At the end he makes this heroic leap toward the main dragon with only an axe and his insane eyes to defend himself... and just gets chomped. He doesn't even dent the monster. It's awesome!!!
2) Christian Bale is so so pretty. I wish I could say that he plays some moving role or something, but really it's that I love his face.

Once upon a time I owned this movie, but someone borrowed it and kept it (she probably also worships at the altar of Bale). Despite its ridiculosity, I have plans to buy it again and I watch it whenever it comes on TV. Now tell me, all you who are supposed Christian Bale fans, can you say the same? I believe I win this round of devotion.

I also feel obligated to note that what got my heart beating a little faster was remembering his role as Demetrius in A Midsummer Night's Dream. His interpretation of a certain scene wherein he makes some theoretical comments to a girl who is chasing him... oh man, there goes my heart again. Let's just say that Christian can back me up against a wall and threaten to steal my virtue any time!

Finally, if you're reading Kristina, I stole one of those pictures you posted and it's currently my desktop decoration. Yummy yummy Christian....

4 comments:

Kristina P. said...

OK, this is too funny. I have seen Reign of Fire about 7 times, and it was just on TV last week!

It came out many years ago, when I was on a trip to NYC with girlfriends, and there was a movie theater in our hotel. Guess what we literally saw 3 times while ther? And then I made my friend see it with me when we got back.'

It had CHRISTIAN BALE!!! And this was also when McConaughey was not creepy and crazy, and was still hot. This movie is so lame, and yet, I love it. And Christian speaks with his actual accent in it!

Unknown said...

Another Balehead!

Just wanted to say Hello and pimp mine own CB collection.

http://tattoooedraven.blogspot.com/search/label/bale

Ta!

Anonymous said...

Of course Dragons eat ash. Duh. I'm glad that extra "x" chromosone is doing its work. Trust a girl to not understand the scientific discomobulatory ramifications of the Dragons post-ergonomic physiological structurifics. Geeze.

Judy said...

golly gracious...we can make entire posts dedicated to hot guys? why didn't i think of that??? i've love cb for as long as i can remember liking boys...which is a looooong time, btw. ever seen my flair? yummy!