I'm weak, it's true.

Well today I went and saw Twilight. I've been on the fence about the potential for this movie to be any good, so when my cuz invited me to go watch it with her, I resoundingly said "Um, okay I guess!" (Incidentally, do you ever use words like "resoundingly" and then get nervous that you don't really know what they mean? Maybe Twilight and its ilk really *are* sucking away IQ points....)

First, let me say that I really did enjoy the original Twilight book. I know, I should be banned from the intellectual world. But I must confess, people can say what they want about how poorly written those books are; they drew me in and I just couldn't stop reading! The first book was all fun and heart-fluttering romance, with just a hint of danger. Maybe Stephenie Meyer isn't the best writer ever, but she did perfect the formula for luring in single hopeless romantics (and ridiculously hormonal teenage girls). Despite my sister's best attempts to convince me that the story is in fact about a 100 year old pedophile who creepily stalks a 17 year old because her BLOOD smells good (not to mention Kristina P's hilarious summary and Edward post), I refused to listen . I mean, there's a downside to every story, right? Why dwell?

However, despite my fondness for the book, I was rational enough to feel that a movie wasn't the best of ideas (although it made for hilarious spoof trailers). Not only would it introduce this hysteria-inducing series to a whole new crowd - those unwilling to read - but how could what I loved about the books translate to film? Sadly, I was right. It didn't translate well.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the movie (mostly because we were laughing at all the "serious" moments that were actually just silly). But not only did the movie get it ALL WRONG (the vampires were like Edward Scissorhands, all wax and no emotion; Bella was a whining, twitching, bad-acting twit; all the flirting and cute getting-to-know-you convos were removed so that Edward and Bella went from zero to co-dependent like that *snaps*), it also made all that my sister mocked about the book come to life. Suddenly the idea of a man being so smitten that he constantly observes/follows a girl doesn't seem as romantic when seen on the big screen. Watching Robert Pattinson (Edward) stare intensely down at Kristen Stewart's (Bella) half-dressed form - half-dressed because she was asleep and he was just CHILLING in her ROOM - opened my eyes to the fact that he's simply a Creepy Creeperson stalker. Being cute doesn't give you leave to sneak into strange girls' rooms, young man!

So just like that, with one fell swoop (or rather 2 eternally long hours) my fondness for Twilight has been swept away. I can confidently say that if I never read the books again, I'll die a happy woman.

PS There was one clever writer who actually felt that the movie was better than the book. In fact, his/her "28 Reasons that 'Twilight' the Movie Is Better Than 'Twilight' the Book" is downright hilarious. Check it out, but watch out for pop-ups! Not only does it point out all the silliest parts of the movie (but in a way that makes them funny, not annoying) it also served to open my eyes further to the fact that the book really wasn't very good. Go figure.