But I could totally watch these videos all day.
and this.
Please ignore the coincidence that they are all hobbit related. While hobbits are awesome in their own rights, these videos are just freakin' funny man! I particularly love the idea of Leonard Nimoy's back-up dancers. Oh what I wouldn't give for enormous hair and a time machine, so I could be a part of that video....
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Vampires in our midst
So, I once read an article in the illustrious and hard-hitting magazine Weekly World News, where anyone who wants to know the real truth turns, that was all about how Johnny Depp is really a vampire because he has clearly not aged since he first captured our hearts in 21 Jump Street. The article featured this image, which is not at all photo-shopped, and I was immediately convinced:
What kind of monster would show up to a red carpet event with blood dripping off his fangs??
So along these lines, I've been carefully scanning Hollywood for similar vampires dwelling among us. I feel that it's imperative we recognize these menaces because, as I learned from my childhood mentor GI Joe, knowing is half the battle. Below are the vampires that I've found thus far, starting with those who have attempted to mask their immortality (unsuccessfully) with disguises like beards, graying hair, dental alterations, and craziness.
Your beard cannot hide your true nature, Clooney!
I can't tell how old he is in either picture, but his buckteeth crack me up!
You can be crazy all you want, we're on to you BAI LING!
Then there are those, even more annoying, who make no attempt at all to hide their never-ending youth; even occasionally flaunting it and mocking us with their hot bods and devlishly handsome faces.
It isn't fair when 50+ year old women are more sexy than I am. For this they deserve to be staked!
Okay, in this case he may have had some work done rather than being immortal, because I'm just not sure that chin can possibly be real.
Aw, he still has those adorable little boy eyes that made the bullies of the 80s never take him seriously.
Of course, on the other end of that spectrum are those vampires who came into the world looking 60 and went out looking 60.
So, be on the lookout folks. Be ye truly warned that Hollywood is apparently a hotbed of vampirism. Now you know, next time you're at the theater be sure to bring your garlic just in case!
What kind of monster would show up to a red carpet event with blood dripping off his fangs??
So along these lines, I've been carefully scanning Hollywood for similar vampires dwelling among us. I feel that it's imperative we recognize these menaces because, as I learned from my childhood mentor GI Joe, knowing is half the battle. Below are the vampires that I've found thus far, starting with those who have attempted to mask their immortality (unsuccessfully) with disguises like beards, graying hair, dental alterations, and craziness.
Your beard cannot hide your true nature, Clooney!
I can't tell how old he is in either picture, but his buckteeth crack me up!
You can be crazy all you want, we're on to you BAI LING!
Then there are those, even more annoying, who make no attempt at all to hide their never-ending youth; even occasionally flaunting it and mocking us with their hot bods and devlishly handsome faces.
It isn't fair when 50+ year old women are more sexy than I am. For this they deserve to be staked!
Okay, in this case he may have had some work done rather than being immortal, because I'm just not sure that chin can possibly be real.
Aw, he still has those adorable little boy eyes that made the bullies of the 80s never take him seriously.
Of course, on the other end of that spectrum are those vampires who came into the world looking 60 and went out looking 60.
So, be on the lookout folks. Be ye truly warned that Hollywood is apparently a hotbed of vampirism. Now you know, next time you're at the theater be sure to bring your garlic just in case!
Thursday, August 06, 2009
I'm back!
Hooray I'm back guys. We have computers again, and not just an obnoxious laptop whose tiny keys foil my pudgy fingers every time. Even better, we have the computer I always use back up and running, which means that I can access all the special images I pepper my posts with. Oh life is good.
These past few weeks I've solaced my soul by writing many mental posts about how boring Harry Potter and the Movie that Never Ended was, about how horrible I find flies which almost excuses the existence of spiders, and about the possibility that Tim Burton is just getting weirder and weirder in an attempt to see how far he can push humanity. But since I didn't take notes after composing those brilliant pieces in my head, I don't really remember what I said and so I possibly won't actually put them on the old blog. Too bad that you can't all read my fabulous mind! Or maybe this is a good thing as it will save you from yet another whiny post about the money I've wasted on this summer's floppers. Plus, other than the people who were actually at the theater with me, I'm apparently the only person alive who didn't like the new Harry movie, so my post would have been irrelevant anyway.
Instead, I will simply have to come up with new subjects. Feel free to suggest things you'd like to hear my take on. I will be posting more about Disney (a never ending well of darkness), suspected vampires, and whatever else catches my fancy. It's gonna rock!
These past few weeks I've solaced my soul by writing many mental posts about how boring Harry Potter and the Movie that Never Ended was, about how horrible I find flies which almost excuses the existence of spiders, and about the possibility that Tim Burton is just getting weirder and weirder in an attempt to see how far he can push humanity. But since I didn't take notes after composing those brilliant pieces in my head, I don't really remember what I said and so I possibly won't actually put them on the old blog. Too bad that you can't all read my fabulous mind! Or maybe this is a good thing as it will save you from yet another whiny post about the money I've wasted on this summer's floppers. Plus, other than the people who were actually at the theater with me, I'm apparently the only person alive who didn't like the new Harry movie, so my post would have been irrelevant anyway.
Instead, I will simply have to come up with new subjects. Feel free to suggest things you'd like to hear my take on. I will be posting more about Disney (a never ending well of darkness), suspected vampires, and whatever else catches my fancy. It's gonna rock!
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