Crazy Dogs Attack Old Lady! You Heard it Here First!

I hate when I'm late for church; not out of guilt, but because I have to do the Walk of Shame: skulking to whatever seat is available during the bishop's announcements while everyone gives you the evil eye. So yesterday it was a moment of pride and joy when I was ready 7 minutes before church started, meaning I would get there about 2 minutes early. That's when it happened. Just as I was looking for my keys and a pen, the doorbell rang (dum dum dum!). I figured somebody had forgotten their keys, or possibly someone needed a ride. I was definitely not expecting the little old lady who was standing at my door. I would place her between 65 and 75 based on the old lady walking shoes, matching shirt/pants outfit, carefully dyed and styled hair, and smeared lipstick. She was very distraught. As I opened the door, the following conversation occurred:

Old Lady - I was taking a walk and two big dogs came at me. They scared me half to death! Should we call the police??
Me - (thinking two things: '"We"? What's this "we" business,' and then 'Thanks universe. I was actually going to be on time today. I wonder, if I just run out to my car really fast, will she follow me? No, I better help her. Maybe I'll get some heavenly brownie points.') Um, sit down, let me get my phone. Were the dogs wearing collars? Had you seen them before?
Old Lady - I don't know, but they scared me half to death. We should get the police.
Me - Well, okay, do you know what number to call? (thinking that based on her insistence about the police she must call them all the time)
Old Lady - No. The man down the street said they run around all the time.
Me - (searching through the phone book for the appropriate number and finally choosing Animal Control) Well what's the address where you found the dogs? (I wrote the address down and waited for the Animal Control folks to pick up.)
Animal Control - Police dispatch, what's your emergency?
Me - Well, there's a lady at my apartment who says she was frightened by some big dogs running loose.
Animal Control - Well... did they attack anyone? Do you have a description of them?
Me - (to the crazy lady) Did they bite you?
Old Lady - No.
Me - What did they look like?
Old Lady - Well, they were big and black. They scared me half to death!
Animal Control - (after I passed this on) Well... I don't have anyone on active duty today so unless the dogs actually attacked someone, we won't be sending anyone out.
Me - (feeling desperate because the old lady expected me to somehow make this right) Can I at least give you the approximate address the dogs were seen? (I gave the info and hung up, then ushered her out the door) Well, they said they'd come by if the dogs keep causing problems. I hope you have a better day!

So I got to church late. Once again, the evil eye was generously passed my way as I found a seat and I wanted so bad to stand up and say, "There was a crazy lady! It wasn't my fault!" But I resisted, and instead am here telling it to you. Beware the monstrous roving dogs, who in reality were probably out to pee and just wanted to play. They'll get ya!