Parking jerks

BYU just finished that wild and wacky time known as Education Week, where people from all over come and wander cluelessly about campus, make lots of noise, and take up all the available parking. So this past week whenever I came to use the computers at the library, parking was about as available as the Dodo bird. Yesterday, after a having a particularly bad morning, I came to relax and veg, but parking was really *really* bad! After circling and circling like a desperate vulture, I saw what was maybe... was it really?... it looked like a spot! I drove eagerly closer only to find that some JERK had parked about 2 feet into the next spot! Now these aren't narrow, impossibly small spots. We're talking about Utah, the land of the SUV. Spots are plenty big. And at a time like this where there has never been more traffic as a result of all the circling cars, who does that??

Anyway, there was just enough room for me to still park, but I decided to angle the car so that I could get out, but the moron couldn't get in. My front left bumper was about 2 inches from his door, mwa ha ha ha! Then I searched for some non identifiable scrap of paper (there was no way I wanted him/her tracking me down!) to leave a nasty note on. I was all poised to say something clever like, "Way to really uphold the BYU standards of sharing and kindness" but I decided that was overkill. My front bumper should explain loudly enough. As I got out, I saw that someone else had not been so restrained. There was already a note stuck in the windshield wipers! But then I noticed, with worry, that the note had the handicap guy on it.

I thought, 'Uh oh, what if this guy really is handicapped, but couldn't find a spot, and so he parked real far over so as to be able to get the wheelchair out? Am *I* the jerk?' So I naturally had to pull the note out a smidge to read it. I was in luck. Instead of being some sort of explanation of a disability to walk, it was a homemade calling card regarding the jerk-cars inability to park. The card said: "Handicapped parker - learn how to park, moron!"

Ha ha ha ha ha! It was so sweet. Printed on someone's computer, and apparently carried around for the very purpose of scolding crappy parkers. I did get a little worried that the driver would think I had left the note *and* blocked the door, and might key me. I briefly considered leaving another rude note just so he/she would know that more than one person had parked there. Then I thought, to hell with it. If they key me, it's not like it'll make my car look any worse!

The only downside to this hilarious story is that I unfortunately left before the crap parker did, so they never knew about my awesome door-blocking maneuver. However, I feel that blessed note probably expressed the innermost feelings of all his/her parking neighbors that day, so life is good.