Peacocks - angels or demons?

I'd like to discuss an animal that fascinates and creeps me out: the peacock. Without doubt, these birds fire off every "oooo prettyyyy" neuron in my brain. They've got these awesome glisteny feathers that have all the colors of an oilslick (you know you love those as much as I do),




they have a little crown of tiny feathers like some awesome Marti Gras hat on their heads,





and they can make their tails into a fan of gaudy glory.




What more could I ask in a bird than this? How about that they also come in delightful white?

Done!







But then there's the dark side of peacocks. I don't know how many of you out there have actually met peacocks, but until I went to Europe a few summers ago, I had only dreamed of meeting one. That dream was torn apart when I found out that, like supermodels, peacocks are only pretty from far faaar away.







Up close those glorious fanned tails snap shut, the feathered bodies narrow into sleek bird-arrows, and they beging hunting unsuspecting and mistakenly delighted tourists like a pack of raptors, bighting at ankles and screaming in fury.

Even worse is when the peacocks hide in the woods and make a cry that sounds a lot like "Help! Help!" One can only assume that their purpose for these cries is that they have a relationship with a pack of nearby wolves (much like the ravens of Yellowstone) and they are pretending to be a lost child so that you'll foolishly leave the safety of the tourist trails and be lured away to a waiting wolf pack. Who knows what the peacocks get out of it, because I'm pretty sure they only bite people out of spite and not hunger.



So while they are beautiful and fabulous, I think that peacocks might just be the devil in bird form. And I suppose that would make pigeons their small smelly demonic minions!

I'm still not reading anything worth quoting. Or I should say that all the books I've been reading lately have titles that would make me embarassed to quote them, because they would be like flashing neon signs that point out my nerdiness.

So instead I'll quote the delightful webcomic Thinkin' Lincoln which has often had surprising insight into my own thoughts about life, and in this case perfectly sums up my feelings regarding science.

As far as I'm concerned science is only useful as long as it lets
you imagine that there are tiny, cute versions of everything.

(the origin of this quote can be found here)

Celebrity look-a-likes

Okay, so usually when you hear the phrase "celebrity look-a-like" you think of people like these folks who look just enough like someone famous that they never have to work at a real job again, and can spend their time feeling somehow special and *almost* famous.

(these are actual impersonaters, by the way - not bad!)

But this post isn't about those people. No, instead this post is more about the celebrities whose look-a-likes are a little... different. I'm talking the celebrities that look like animals, cartoons, etc. And here they are!

Part of me knows that Brad Pitt is the sexiest man alive, or whatever, but the other part of me has always kind of thought that he just looks like... well, a gazelle. No matter how many movies I see him in, I just can't shake that image, and now I'll share it with you.

Likewise with Kristen Kreuk (Smallville starlett, for those of you who aren't Tom Welling fangirls) who I've always ALWAYS thought looked more like a chipmunk than an exotic beauty.

Last in the list of animal/human hybrids is Steve Buscemi, who has a strong resemblance to a turtle, as my brother David pointed out.

Then there are the cartoon folks. We start with Willem Dafoe (a man who is on my most feared list, even if I did forget to include him in the post about the same topic). To me, Mr. Dafoe looks an awful lot like the one of Eternia's worst enemies, Skeletor. I defy you to argue with that!

Also, what is Skeletor *doing* with his hand in this picture I found of him??
On perusing some of my favorite childhood TV shows lately it does seem like strange things were going on that I didn't even notice and now I'm forced to question the sexual orientation of everyone in Eternia. Alas for the innocence of youth!

Anyway, this guy isn't so famous now and I don't even know his name, but if Skeletor/Dafoe are being mentioned, than He-Man and the star of The Worst Music Video Ever (it is SO GOOD) must also have notice.

The next grouping is of women who need to eat a little to look more human; starting with a picture that, I confess, I found quite by accident while looking for pictures for this post. But it's awesome and while I never noticed it before, I doubt I'll ever look at Amy Winehouse the same way again.

Then there's Hilary Duff. At one point she was a very cute girl, but lately when I see her she looks more like a skeleton.

If you don't see it in the side-by-side, how about now?

Yeah, I thought so.

Then, last but definitely not least, is the guy who started this for me. He doesn't need to eat, but maybe he should fix his hair because every time I hear a song by The Fray, one thought consumes my mind: that the lead singer looks exactly like a Cupie Doll. I hope that by posting this I can finally lay that image to rest.

So, next time you're at the movies or listening to the radio, I hope you'll think of these guys and the images that always spring to my mind. Remember, you don't have to be human, or even real, to impersonate a celebrity!

What's the deal, yo?

Have you ever noticed how this is tacky;





but this is perfectly acceptable??







What's that all about? Because I'm just not sure I see much of a difference.

My current job

I can't go into too much detail about my current employer (directv - aka the devil), but here's a pretty good idea of what I do.

Susan/Ernestine, call center person extraordinaire.

Childhood fears - still FREAKIN' SCARY

Okay, these are the things that scared me during my childhood. After some recent reflection, I think you'll all have to agree that these things are really horrifying for adults as well, and that I was wise beyond my years.

The dog-beasts from "Ghostbusters".

Also, the librarian ghost from "Ghostbusters".


These HORRIFYING goblin things from "The Hobbit" (they sing! And swirl around in trippy and bizarre fashions!).


The Jabberwocky from "Alice in Wonderland" (live action).

image could not be found, instead click here for terrifying video footage - but fast forward to minute 3 because the rest is hecka boring

Carol Channing.


The illustrations from the Scary Stories books.

Any iteration of Tim Curry.

The Skekis from "The Dark Crystal". Maybe just "The Dark Crystal" in general, and we'll throw in "The Labyrinth" for good measure.

Of course, since then I've added a few new phobias. I guess I should really just find a small cabin in the middle of nowhere and hide, because this world is just too crazy frightening for me.