More than I can chew - or plant

Recently my mom and I were in a Barnes & Noble attempting to use up an ancient gift card she'd had floating around for ages. As we approached the check out counter we were faced with that little rotating rack that is designed specifically for people just like me, who are unable to resist ridiculous tchotchkes like the teeny tiny tea set or the cute little zen garden. But the one that caught my eye this day was the mini bonsai kit - I *had* to have it, and my mother, like any good enabler, kindly purchased it for me. Naturally, being that it was in the last minute rack at a chain book store, I assumed that this kit would be like every Americanized version of ancient Asian art forms: there would be some fast growing tree that would be fun for a month and then die; completely missing the point of the art. As you can guess, this is not what I found. Otherwise, why would I write a post? Come on, guys. Get with it.

I opened the box and was somewhat dismayed to find an entire book of instruction inside. Granted it's a 1"x 0.5" book, but still it has actual chapters instructing a would-be bonsai master on the ancient history of tiny trees, the spiritual meaning thereof, and the proper way to shape your tree... once it has grown.

If you guessed by the ominous ellipses that the growing part of this mild amusement of mine is ridiculously complicated, then you win the prize! I don't know what I was expecting to find, but five tree seeds and a detailed description of the treatment they require was not it. Before I can even think about taking my tiny scissors to my tiny tree there's about a year of carefully monitored growing that it must do. And before it can grow, there's a complicated sprouting process that potential trees must complete. Then, to make me feel even more tense about the process, it seems I'm supposed to sprout all five seeds and cull the weak ones - because nothing makes a sprout want to grow like watching all its siblings be murdered.

I have to admit that after being intimidated by the idea that in shaping this tree I will be basically shaping my SOUL, and also after learning that this isn't just a month or so of entertainment but an actual lifetime commitment, I'm tempted to just throw all the seeds out in my parents' back yard (run free, little seeds!) and buy a plastic bonsai tree that requires no more care than an occasional dusting. However, I've decided that I'm going to give this my best. No more buying plants that will live even if I don't put them in "dappled" sunlight or mist them on a bi-weekly basis. I'm diving into the world of green thumbery. And also, there will be no culling because I'm too weak for that. Whichever of these seeds actually sprout will be given love and life.

On that note, guess who will be getting tiny trees for birthdays? You're welcome, family.

Swine flue shmine flu

Guys, I just wanted to tell you that even though the world might be terrified of H1N1 and the CDC's website says,

"If you think 2009 H1N1 flu can’t affect you, your family, or your friends—think again.... A flu vaccine is the first and most important step in protecting against flu infection."

my local Wal-Mart pharmacy representative told me that it wasn't even a thing anymore and that they have no plans to start issuing vaccines again any time soon, but maybe some other loser pharmacy would still have some left over useless vaccine, if I really want it. So, don't even worry about it guys!

AT LAST!

I have two "at lasts" to post about, both very exciting to me.

#1 - I posted last year about a kick-butt music video that my sister made (totally starring me, of course) and then waited with eagerness for the video to be posted online so I could show it off. And I waited... and waited... and AT LAST it's here! Hooray for Anna, filmstress extraordinaire! Prepare to be amazed by my music video debut (oh and I guess some other people were in it too):



#2 - I was sadly disappointed by 2009's supposed blockbuster movies, and you all had to hear about it ad nauseum. But finally finally came a movie that not only lived up to my expectations, but also exceeded them: Sherlock Holmes.Of course, it helps that my only "expectation" for the movie was that Dr. Watson (aka Jude Law) be stunningly good looking

(check plus!)

but still the movie rocked my socks AND the respective socks of my mother, father, brother and sister. It had all the characteristics of the Holmes stories I loved so dearly and read so voraciously (before I read the anti-Mormon A Study in Scarlet which left me a little cold):

• the arrogant, but rightly so, Holmes; always not-so-subtly insulting the intelligences of the people around him (poor Lestrade!)

• Holmes' habit of noticing seemingly inconsequential details and applying them to his vast data bank of obscure knowledge to come to a conclusion unreachable by mere mortals

• Holmes' other habit of not telling anyone what he's noticed or deduced until the very end, leaving us holding our breaths with anticipation

• Holmes' third habit of imbibing too much cocaine (!) - props to them for this, it was very subtly and comically done

• Another Sherlock habit, that of using disguises to follow suspects; particularly Irene Adler who is only one of Holmes' nemeses that appeared in this movie

And then there was more. Gone was the subservient dog-like Watson, who seemed to only exist so that Holmes could have someone to be smug to. He was replaced with an intelligent and saucy Watson, and we were treated to a delightful bantering between the two all through the movie instead of just Watson's constant attempts to solve the mystery, and Holmes' constant condescending correction of Watson. We were also treated to a glimpse into Holmes' analytical mind AND some exciting violence as he planned out each brutal beating that he would give to the bad guys in slow motion, and then carried out that plan in normal speed. I don't remember Holmes getting into too many fights in the books, but this is definitely how he would do it.

I could go on and on about my rapturous feelings towards this awesome film, but you'd be bored. So I'll end by saying, kudos 2009 for finally getting one movie right!

I'm so happy to start the new year with two such fabulous "at lasts."

2010!!!

Happy New Year!!!! When I was 10 or 11 I thought the world would have ended by now. HOORAY THAT IT DIDN'T!!! To all my auld acquaintances (whatever the heck that means) I wish you the best for 2010.