Nerd: Disgruntled

Okay, so I posted before about how my inner nerd was screaming and jumping around in my head, her excitement over the upcoming Star Trek movie barely contained by my own sense of normalcy and shame over being a closet geek. Now the time has finally come for me to report on the movie itself.

IT ROCKED! IT SUCKED! I loved and hated it! How, you ask, can someone with only one known personality (there may be a few extra ones in there, but I've never met them) have such diverse and extreme reactions to the same movie? Let me explain. No, there is too much; let me sum up. I blame my heritage:

The romantic Frenchwoman in me sought a hot man to gawk at - check!

The dry British humorist in me was looking for laughs and giggles - check!

The Nordic viking princess in me lusts after violence and action - double check!

So really, all my quotas would have been met in this movie if it weren't for that stupid closet geek. I'm not sure where she comes from nationality-wise, but she's been lurking in me since (at my earliest memory) age six when I first settled on Captain James T. Kirk as my future husband. Having loved and obsessed over a story line since as far back as I've been watching TV, I've amassed a vast and ridiculous store of useless Star Trek knowledge. Really, the movie was doomed from the first few minutes as far as she's concerned.

But upon reflection, it wasn't so much that the movie failed the Star Trek trivia test. I mean, the red shirt died in like 3 seconds (gotta be a record), Kirk made out with a green-skinned girl, Spock did the nerve pinch... they had all the little details spot on. They even paid tribute to one of the less popular shows, Enterprise, by showing the uniforms that cast used in the beginning of the movie.

It was more the way Abrams and the other people who made the film thumbed their noses at a 40 year sci-fi empire with a plethora of stories and characters that we nerds have come to know and love by changing the time line and obliterating all the stories the other movies/shows followed. The movie said to me, "Hey I'm so great that I invalidate the existence of all other Star Trek fiction! Suck on that!" which kinda irked me. I don't like jerks like that. Also, I *hate* time travel crap with all my heart.

So my final assessment of the movie would have to be -- all you Trekkies (or Trekkers, if you prefer that, even though "Trekker" sounds stupid) might want to stay away from this. Or try and forget everything you knew and loved about the Star Trek universe before you go and see it, because JJ Abrams sure did. For the rest of you who just like to see pretty people, pretty lights, and lots of exciting lasers this movie is teh bomb!